What have I been listening to?: Modern Loneliness - Lauv
What have I been watching?: Parks and Recreation
Last movie I watched: Kiki's Delivery Service
Second semester of my first year of law school has concluded. I actually just got my grades back this morning. All very good.
This semester was, again, difficult. I had a professor who has a documented history of berating and belittling his students. One student dropped the class and the school had to pay for that student to take the course over the summer through another law school in Cleveland. Students broke down in class, cried after class, stormed out of class, etc. It was a fairly traumatizing experience and I am ashamed that the University I committed to attend knowingly allowed this professor to bully his students year after year. I have been disheartened with the law school administration.
During my spring break the beginning of March, I drove to Eau Claire to stay with my cutie for a little while and would then spend the last few days of break at home in Rice Lake. We enjoyed watching a ton of Jeopardy and making meals together at his apartment.
While in Eau Claire, the severity of the pandemic became more prominent in Cleveland and I received an email from the University announcing that classes would proceed remotely and that if students were back home on spring break, that they should stay there and not return to Cleveland. I was so taken aback by this and the anxiety weighed in my stomach like rocks. I wasn't sure what to do. My roommate, who had stayed in Cleveland for break, promptly packed up and went back to New York. I ended up staying in Wisconsin for the next several months, with only the belongings I had brought with me on spring break. Luckily, I had my laptop and charger and other essentials, but my roommate had to mail me my binders and notes and more contact lenses from my room at the apartment before she left for NY.
So, I essentially moved back into my childhood bedroom in my parents' house. I could have gone back to Cleveland, but then I would have been 10 hours away from my partner and family and would have been completely alone. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to have gone back there.
Finishing the semester remotely was honestly awful. I felt trapped in my parents' house, a place I did not want to be, with people who did not fully understand the amount of time and effort I had to commit to law school. I rarely left the house. I did not see my partner for over two months. I had to stop running because I began having knee problems. I became a very angsty version of myself.
As finals approached, the class still did not know how exams would be conducted or how we would be graded. Eventually, the school announced that exams would be open-book and conducted online and that we would be graded on an Honors/Pass/Fail basis. Myself, Niko, and Clare met each day during reading week for a zoom study group in which we discussed our materials, just as we would have at our apartment in person. Despite the safety net of a pass/fail system, I still felt stressed and pressured to get Honors.
We've registered for next semester's courses, and yet we don't even know in what mode they will be given. I don't know if I will be attending in-person classes in Cleveland, or if the semester will go (fully or partially) remotely.
For a little while, it was unclear whether my previously secured summer externship would proceed. Luckily, it was not canceled. However, like the remainder of my classes, it was going to be conducted remotely. I began that externship on May 28th and have been continuing working out of my parents' house. It has been positive so far. I receive writing assignments from a law clerk for real cases and I conduct legal research to write memos, orders, etc. I am in my second week of that now and I think it is going well. I hope that my work is adequate for the law clerk. A lot of what I am assigned to do is completely new to me, and luckily I think my law clerk is conscious of that and is flexible. I kind of get to work on things at my own pace, to some degree, which is nice.
Outside of my externship, I have really been enjoying reading outdoors and relaxing on the deck. My mom scrubbed and cleaned up the deck and repainted it. With the assistance of my father, she removed the back porch door and painted it red. We strung lights along the length of the garage and got some hanging baskets and potted flowers. It is looking nice out there.
I have been reading a book called Middlesex that I am really enjoying. I have several books lined up (all purchases from ThriftBooks!) to read next. I enjoy the occasional bike ride and lots of walks with our dog Haley. I haven't really run for at least a month now because I don't know what the deal is with my knee. I watched soooo much Survivor on Hulu (like, upwards of 10 seasons I think).
Things are not exactly back to normal, almost three months later. I know this will sound selfish and small-minded, but all school year I looked forward to another dream-like summer where I'd actually get to see my partner on a regular basis and enjoy lots of time out and about. It would finally be a break and a time for enjoyment after a year of a lot of stress and hard work. Last summer involved trips to Stillwater, to the zoo, to the beach, going to movies, seeing friends, etc. We will see how things go in the next few weeks.
Like my last post, this has been a pretty negative one. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of hardships over the last few months. I am grateful, however, that my externship has not been canceled and that I can enjoy spending time outside reading and going on walks.
Until next time,
Ginger
