12/5/2018

What have I been watching?: King of the Hill
Last movie I watched: Get Out

So I took my LSAT a few weeks ago.  I thought I'd be super elated from the relief of having finished it, and in some sense I am relieved to not have studying for it weighing on me, but when I left the testing center I did not feel very relieved.  I don't particularly desire to relive the day, but I guess I will put myself through this anyways.

Let me start at the beginning.  I took the test in Eau Claire, and I allotted myself a good amount of time to find the right building and make sure I could park somewhere legally.  I was nervous, but not horribly so.  I was dismayed to find that the lot was metered, and then almost immediately relieved to shift my eyes to the lot's sign which announced that parking was unregulated on weekends.  Next, I looked to my right out my car window.  At this point, only mine and a couple other cars were in the lot.  About 8 spaces down from me, I watched a guy get out of his car, prop his hand on the front hood, bend over, and proceed to vomit in the parking lot.

I imagine he was either extremely nervous, hungover from the night before, or perhaps both.  I found it somewhat comical, and consider it the lightest moment of the day.  I hung out in my car a bit, as a few more cars arrived, and eventually made my way into the building with my 1 gallon clear zip lock bag.

Although the test is long, and took somewhere around 5 hours (don't recall exactly), it did go by quickly.  Each section would end abruptly, with a harsh and unsettling announcement from the test regulator, and you barely had thirty seconds to gather yourself before being forced to rush into the next section.  By the time it was over, I felt thoroughly traumatized, and genuinely wanted nothing more than to forget the entire thing had ever happened.  I called my mom from my car in the parking lot afterwards, feeling very odd and uncertain, and she was kind enough to come to Eau Claire and spend the rest of the afternoon with me.  I spent the following hour roaming around Ulta and then we had lunch at Olive Garden.

I do not yet know my score, and frankly I do not want to know.  Of course, I will have to look eventually, as much as I would like to pretend that I never even wanted to go to law school.  I did not expect to feel this way, because I figured my expectations for my score were so incredibly average that it would be unlikely that I would find myself disappointed.  I will be agonized if I have to take it again.

Apart from that unsettling experience, things have been really good.  I find myself quite content in life right now.  Historically I've struggled a little more in these cold dark months, but I've found dialing the heat up just a few degrees makes such a world of difference in my happiness.  Admittedly, I am terrified to receive our electric bill (we haven't gotten one yet since having turned the heat on), but I think it is a worthwhile luxury.  My room is small enough that just a few degrees makes a huge difference, and I have been so cozy, enjoying afternoons off in my warm room watching movies.  I've also been attending yoga class, which was something I did last year fairly regularly with my friend Phil, but we've been busy this semester and never got around to it until recently.  The last couple classes have been very effective--afterwards, we find ourselves in a bit of a stupor, as if we've been lightly drugged.

Yesterday I watched Get Out.  I had seen it once before, but decided I needed to watch it again because I was not in a suitable setting the first time I watched it and I figured I'd missed a few things.  Well I watched it again and apparently I missed quite a bit the first time around, namely all the key intense climactic moments towards the end (I don't want to spoil anything).  I would recommend it.

Frisbee has been so fun!  I really get along with a lot of the new members of our team and our twice-a-week practice has been such a nice getaway.  We have our annual holiday party this Friday, which I will be hosting.  I am taking hosting extremely seriously.  I will be cleaning the entire apartment over the next two days, and will be baking brownies and cookies the afternoon of.  Festive tablecloth and paper plates have been purchased, Secret Santa gift has been prepared, and I am psyched.

Last thing to note, yesterday I had a startling experience when I got into my vehicle and took my car out of park and found that my car moved back a lot quicker than usual.  My brakes, which have always been incredibly sensitive and reactive, now did not function unless I pushed the pedal all the way to the floor.  I had a signal come up on my dash a couple days ago, and like an extremely irresponsible idiot, I did not check it until last night.  Brake fluid warning light!  Filled up the brake fluid reservoir but still having issues, so going to get that looked at today.

10/20/2018

What have I been watching?: This is Us
What have I been listening to?: Breezeblocks - alt-J
Last movie I saw: A Star is Born

I'm currently sitting in bed, warm rice bag resting on my ankles.  My room is filled with natural light, and the air smells lovely from the lavender peach plug-in in my wall.  A wave of calm passed over me when I got to my door and opened it up to find my cozy little room filled with light.  Just got back a bit ago from day one of a frisbee tournament in Eau Claire.  Its about an hour away but we don't quite have the funds to get a hotel in Eau Claire for the night so we'll be driving there again tomorrow morning.  Our first game this morning was at 8, and my alarm was set for 4:45 to allow time to dress, eat, and pick up three teammates.  I had my first ultimate frisbee tournament in the snow today.  Nothing stuck, but it snowed several times throughout the day.  It was bitterly cold, around 38 degrees I would say, with horrible wind.  We lost all 3 games.  I unfortunately did not play at all, as I have become ill over the last couple days and have today developed a painful cough which I did not care to further worsen.  I was definitely cold on the sideline but not as badly as last year's Halloween tournament in Rochester.  We have another tournament next weekend and I anticipate I will not be well enough to play then either.  After getting back to River Falls, I took an exquisitely long shower, trying to rub some heat and life back into my stiff muscles.  The morning out in the cold made me really miss my baths.

I've been longboarding a few times this semester, borrowing a lovely bamboo board from my friend Tyler.  He has several boards and we have gone out a couple times to practice.  I like the feel of it, although haven't altogether gotten the hang of balancing on one leg as I push with the other.  I found myself surprised by the amount of exercise that an hour of skateboarding entailed.  I would really like to get my own board, but soon snow will be more consistent and will actually stick, so I may end up waiting until spring to get a board of my own.  It reminds me a bit of surfing, although not quite as exhilarating.  It's cement surfing.

-------

Returned to this post today, Sunday the 21st.  Today was a bit nicer weather-wise (actually reaching the 50s by the afternoon) and although we still lost all our games, it was a good time and I was glad to be there.  I didn't touch my camera Saturday but took some nice photos today.  When I looked in my car mirror after the tournament, I was surprised to see abundant visible freckles under my eyes and on my nose.  I have not seen them so clearly since spending the day in the sun surfing in South Carolina.  Was exhausted driving back home and so content to end up back in my cozy room after the long day.  Spent probably two hours editing the photos, made myself a lovely banana, raspberry, and spinach smoothie, and now will spend the remainder of the evening relaxing and watching TV.  I am content.

9/18/2018

What have I been watching?:   Brooklyn Nine Nine
What have I been listening to?:  If You Were Mine - Ocean Park Standoff

I've moved back into River Falls and started the last year of my undergraduate!

My first week of classes felt pretty underwhelming.  I'd been looking forward to the semester starting for a long time but my classes have been a little bit of a let down, and seeming rather mundane.  The student base (particularly in my area of study) is so small that it's mostly the same batch of people all over again, in the same drab rooms, going over the same intro material.  Someone please explain to me why, as a senior political science/international studies student, I am going over the terms "politics" and "state" again.  There are so few courses available each semester so there is zero choice in what I take, its simply a matter of taking everything that is offered in order to actually graduate. 

I am glad, however, to be moved closer to school.  I'm living in a two-bedroom apartment with a girl who I am getting along with pretty well.  I like how I've got my room set up.  The room is rather narrow and also has no overhead lighting, but I've made it very comfortable and am happy.  I also am glad to now have a furnished living space where I can have friends over to play games and what-not.  I've been glad to reconnect with my friends from school, a couple of whom I had not seen for quite some time as they had been studying in Europe last semester.  One friend who had transferred schools last semester has now transferred back. 

The day before yesterday, I went to Hudson in the evening planning to see Searching at the theater.  I pulled into the parking lot and right away recognized someone I went to high school with and hadn't seen in probably a year or two.  I jumped out and was very psyched to have run into an old friend,  several hours from where we went to school together.  Turns out he lives in the area, and has for some time, and I just had no idea.  He was going to see a movie with his girlfriend and we all ended up seeing Searching together.  It really made my night.

I've of course been enjoying getting back into the swing of things at the gym, and have found that the injury I attained at the beginning of the summer no longer seems to be causing me issues.  I did my highest ever squat a couple weeks ago at 135 pounds and my highest ever bench at I think 70 pounds.  My goal will be to beat these again this semester. 

I've had surfing on my mind a lot for the last few days.  I'm really, really hoping that I'll be fully recovered from my injury by winter so I can perhaps go somewhere for my winter break to surf.  I've been looking a little bit into Cocoa Beach in Florida, and would also be open to returning to the Carolinas.  I would really love to get a bit more experience and eventually own my own board. 

Thinking of surfing makes me so happy, and soon enough I'll be graduated and will perhaps have the chance to relocate (if not only temporarily) and have some new adventures.  I'm in a really good spot right now. 

-G

8/4/2018

What have I been watching?:  The Office
What have I been reading?:   Beatrice and Virgil
Last movie I watched: Mamma Mia 2

Another long work week for me.  Scheduled a total of 52 hours at Culver's, and 6 hours of tour-giving on my one day off from Culver's.  It's gone by smooth enough, I suppose, and the prospect of 12+ hours of overtime is sweet. 

Yesterday, Friday, was my second day as a university tour guide.  My first tour went surprisingly well.  Members of the tour were friendly, smiley, and responsive.  At the end of the tour, several of them told me I'd done a great job and thanked me.  My second tour group was much more unresponsive.  They asked no questions, gave little indication that they were alive (let alone enjoying the tour), and stared at me with blank, uninterested faces.  Although one kind woman did approach me at the end of the tour to inform me that a large bug had been clinging to my jeans for a while.  The tours are a bit tiring.  We walk a swift loop of campus, entering most of the academic buildings and viewing a residence hall and a staged dorm room.  Each tour takes about an hour, during which I am, ideally, not supposed to stop talking. 

Once finished with tour-giving, I had a hastened gym session (some good work on my back), and returned to my place to meet up with my sister and her boyfriend Richard for the rest of the day.  Richard had called me the day before to see if they could visit me spontaneously the next day.  We initially were considering making a trip to the Mall of America, but ended up going to the outlets in Eagan instead.  None of us had been there before, but it ended up being a good decision because it seemed generally less expensive than the Mall of America and had a lot of nice brands.  I got a nice pair of lounge sweatpants from Converse and an O'Neill long sleeve shirt from Tilly's.  We could have spent more time shopping, but Katie and Richard couldn't stay visiting too late.  So we finished our visit with some Chinese food in the food court, and they went back home that night.

Despite only working an 8 hour shift today and getting plenty of sleep last night, I felt absolutely beat for the last couple hours at work.  I made my way back home and changed into my new comfy sweats, planning to head to the gym after doing a load of laundry, having a meal, and relaxing a bit.  I then checked the gym hours and *facepalm* the gym closed at 4.  So, I will just stay in for the rest of the evening.  I've restarted watching The Office, so I've been entertaining myself with that.  I've watched it an obscene number of times, but its always very comforting to return to it. 

I'm really looking forward to the new semester starting up, new classes, the familiar hustle and bustle (if you can even really call it that) of campus.  It's been a pretty good summer.  I had a great vacation in South Carolina, got promoted, have saved a bit of money, and have cultivated some travel ideas for the upcoming year.  Hopefully they will come to fruition.

7/27/2018

What have I been reading?:  A Walk in the Woods - Bill Bryson
Last movie I watched?:  Spotlight

Well, it's Friday but I'm going to try to rewind my memory and talk about last weekend.  I worked through the afternoon Friday, and then spent the rest of the weekend at home.  I was pleased to see a few things I'd ordered online waiting for me in my old room when I arrived.  These included a new pair of hiking boots which I think will suit me well, and an order of used books that I bought from Thriftbooks.  I've ordered from Thriftbooks several times.  Usually, good condition used books are priced between $3.79 and $4. 

On Saturday, my parents and I kayaked a section of the Namekagon River.  Well, my father and I each had a kayak, and my mother paddle boarded down the river.  It was a beautiful day for a river trip.  Mostly sunny, with occasional cloudy spells, and not a blisteringly hot day.  My dad was the anchor of our group, fishing as he floated along.  I just put my legs up on the top of the kayak and cruised along.  There were a few sections of light rapids, but a little bit of paddling around rocks was all that was necessary.  As far as I know, my mom got through them unscathed with the paddle board.  I don't recall what I did with the rest of that day. 

My brother and his girlfriend Taylor arrived from Madison the night before, after I'd gone to bed.  Unfortunately, noise travels through all the walls and doors in my house as if they weren't even there, so I could hear them and my father conversing and playing guitar for a while.  I loved being at home with everyone, though.  It was one of the most pleasant weekends I've ever spent as an adult back home, perhaps.  My brother set up his full size volleyball court in our little front yard, and I spectated while reading my new book (well, new to me), A Walk in the Woods, which I am enjoying very much.  It's about the author's experiences on the Appalachian Trail.  It's a comedic account of his personal experience on the trail, as a new hiker, and also has a ton of factual information as well. 

I'm having a hard time remembering the full timeline of events of the weekend, but I remember tidbits of things.  My mom brought us Chinese food for dinner at one point, and I ate with my sister Katie and her boyfriend Richard.  Historically, I have very rarely eaten Asian food, so I decided to try veggie lo mein.  I enjoyed it, but found the portion to be far too large.  My grandparents stopped by at one point and visited with us in the living room for a bit.  My grandmother was generous and kind in hemming a pair of work pants for me.  I also remember sleeping very comfortably and being very content and at ease in my old room.  My old room is quite small, but gets amazing light.  It's been mostly cleared of my belongings, besides a few articles still hanging in the closet (including my dashing Rotary jacket) and some things on the upper shelves.  I found it to be a very tranquil space to spend the nights at home, as it was unencumbered by clutter and excessive possessions, but was still a familiar space for me.  The sheets on the bed are also some of the nicest I've experienced.  I wish I could use them at my new place, but they aren't the right size for the mattress I have now.  I spent some time on the back deck of my home, which is a lovely place in the summer.  We have nice glider chairs, shaded by a large umbrella, and the perimeter of the deck is lined with tall marigold plants which totally transform the deck into a little, private oasis.  I ate many ice cream cones over the weekend, a treat which I haven't indulged in in a long time but plan on making a staple in my future diet.  My home in the summer time is just a totally different place than in the other seasons, I've realized.  I enjoy my time back home far more in the summer months, and can better appreciate being home when the sun is shining, the greenery is strikingly vibrant, and there's a sense of peace and comfort, for the most part.  These things are usually absent, or lacking, in other seasons at home. 

I spent three nights at home, and returned to my place early afternoon Monday for work.  Something pleasant to note is that the time between my last paycheck and the one I received today seemed to go by very quickly.  I've been working more hours than I ever have before, and spent the last week working, seemingly, nonstop.  I unfortunately had zero time to study or go to the gym for nearly a full week.  I finally studied yesterday morning before my shift, but I'm behind in my book and this has me slightly worried.  However, I had scheduled myself for studying thinking I'd take the LSAT in September.  I am now thinking I will take it at a later offering, November or possibly even December.  So, keeping that in mind, I can afford to have a slower studying pace. 

Today has been a productive, but very tiring, day.  I had to be up before 6 AM to get to River Falls by 7 for my first day as a Falcon Guide.  There was a college visit day on campus, so I gave my first tours as a guide today.  I'm getting tired and getting a headache, so I won't speak much to that, but let's just say there's room for improvement in my tour giving.  I worked out after the visit day finished, went to Hudson to pick up and deposit my check, picked up some fruit at Aldi, and then decided to do a bit of sprucing up in my room.  I'm currently washing all my bedding, and also did a bit of bathroom cleaning.  I also went through the closet and set aside some clothes for Plato's Closet and Goodwill.  I love having things tidied up.  Clear space, clear mind.  Now I just want to be comatose for the rest of the day, but my bedding is in the dryer and it's going to be a real challenge to tie my duvet back into its cover. 

There is certainly more I could say about the last week and a half, but alas, I am in a weakened state and must save whatever energy is left for my imminent brawl with the duvet cover. 

Until later

7/12/2018

Last movie I watched: Jeff Who Lives at Home
What have I been listening to?: Blue Hundreds - Holy Mattress Money

Last Saturday, myself and a couple friends from school got together.  My friend Jack came up from Illinois and joined myself and our friend Anna at the Como Zoo for the afternoon.  It was very hot and a busy day at the zoo.  The Como Zoo was a bit smaller than the Minnesota Zoo, but the Como Zoo had all the key animals that you look for in a zoo, which the Minnesota Zoo lacked.  Giraffes, lions, gorillas.  The gorillas freak me out so much but I'm fascinated by them.  After spending about an hour and a half of wholesome fun at the zoo, we met up with our friend Hakeem.  I'd never been to his place before, but he had his house all to himself while his dad was abroad, and it was a very nice place.  The four of us had a quick dinner at Taco Bell (my first Taco Bell experience) and then made our way to the Basilica Block Party, which was a three-stage music event.  My friend Jack's brother is the guitarist for one of the bands that was performing (we got to see him perform over the winter as well) so we got in for free.  There were other artists performing throughout the evening at the various stages, but we were really only interested in that one performance.  We were hoping to be able to meet with Jack's brother and hang out with him for a little bit before or after they performed but didn't get a chance.  I really enjoyed the performance though!  It was a cool day. 

Yesterday was a memorable day.  I worked 9-3, and after showering at my place and gathering some things for the night, I headed back to my home town.  I had dinner at Bona Casa with my mom, sister, and grandparents.  I love Bona Casa.  It's very basic food but my family has always loved their sauce.  After dinner, my mom and I returned to my grandparents house and we all spent some time out on their screened porch.  Their property is surrounded by trees on 3 sides and the fourth side faces a lake.  We had rhubarb pie and talked for a while.  I don't get to see them super often so I really appreciated such a nice, simple time.  After returning to our house, my mom and I took the dog for a quick walk.  Then I laid in bed with her for a little bit and told her about work and my new management position.  I then spent the night in my old room, very comfortable in bed and feeling very content.  The next morning I had to head out in the morning to make it back for my 11-8 shift. 

My next day off is Saturday and I'm considering trying to make it a beach day.  I'm also considering going to the Minneapolis Institute of Art.  I could certainly do both.  We'll see if I actually end up doing anything. 

Cheers

6/20/2018

What have I been watching?: Man Seeking Woman
What have I been listening to?:  I Want to Know - KONGOS
Last movie I watched: Downsizing

I've been on that full-time work life.  Doing 40-43 hours a week at Culver's.  I've never gotten overtime before, as far as I can recall, and lord is it a beautiful thing.  With that, and a study schedule for the LSAT, going to the gym has fallen to the wayside.  Not just because I have a full schedule, but because the injury I got on vacation from surfing has lingered longer than I expected.  It is still giving me a little bit of discomfort, about a month later.  So, I've not prioritized the gym since most of the movements would just aggravate that further.  I did go today, however, and did legs.  So long as I'm not using much of my torso, reaching upwards, or twisting my torso it seems to be alright.  I actually did my personal best squat this week. 

Today I worked my shortest shift yet of the summer.  I worked 11-2:30, and by about 3:45 I was at the gym.  Did about an hour and a half at the gym and then made my way to Starbucks to do a lesson in my LSAT book.  I took my first real LSAT practice test last week or so.  At first I thought I did somewhat poorly (not bad, but not well) because I suffered in the Logic Games section with the time constraint and missed a whole scenario's worth of questions (that's like a quarter of the questions for the whole section).  And yet, despite missing an entire 7 or so questions, I finished with a score of 153.  That's about an average score.  I ran into my pre-law advisor immediately afterwards, and he said 153 for my first timed practice test is good, and that some people work up to that score.  I'd like to aim closer to high 150's, definitely.  So, I figure, once I progress with my diagramming and work past the time constraint with that section, I likely will score a few points higher.  It seemed my highest scored section was Reading Comprehension.  I always did well with that sort of thing in standardized testing throughout my schooling years.  I'm not exactly aiming for a highly prestigious law school so I don't feel a lot of pressure to get a very high score.  I don't yet know where I plan to apply for law school.  I'd like to go somewhere out of state because I've seen so little of the United States and I think it'd be exciting to go somewhere new.

Update: I took my second practice LSAT a few days ago and it didn't go as well.  I found it more difficult, and struggled even more with the time constraint, on every section.  Although I got far more individual questions wrong than on my first test, I still scored a mere one point below last time (on the conversion scale) which leads me to believe that this one was a more logically difficult test which the average test taker scored lower on (otherwise, I would have scored lower on the conversion scale).  Of course, ideally, I would be scoring slightly higher each time, so it was a bit discouraging.  I've got a few more months to keep studying, so I'm trying to brush it off. 

UGH.  I left this post open for a few days and just now wrote a few more paragraphs about the recent days.  What I wrote did not save.  So I'll recap.

Yesterday I went to visit my friend Paige in the cities.  We studied and were flatmates together in Fiji.  The last time I saw her was over a year ago, apparently.  But we only live 40 minutes apart now so perhaps we'll visit more often.  In the evening, we visited the stone arch bridge (which I believe is in Minneapolis) and walked around a bit downtown, admiring the apartments and lofts and wondering what kind of life one has to lead in order to afford to live right downtown.   I loved being in the big city.  It always makes me nostalgic of Lima.  The next morning I slept in till 10:15 which was great.  Then we had some bagels at Bruegger's, and spent about 3 hours at the Minnesota Zoo.  The admission was a bit steep at $18, and $7 for parking.  It is quite a large zoo, however, and we walked a massive loop.  I think my favorite animals may have been the wolves.  I didn't realize quite how large they are.  They stand quite tall, and I imagine they would come up to near chest height on me.  They were also very beautiful, especially the dark colored ones with bright eyes.  We also stumbled upon a really great bird show, held in an outdoor amphitheater.  The zoo did lack some key animals, though, in my opinion.  No polar bears, lions, or zebras.  And, as per usual, some of the most interesting animals weren't very active or were hidden at the back of the exhibits, like the tiger.  But I really enjoyed it.  It was a good visit with some cool sights, and I definitely got my steps in.

I'm back at my place, now, and just had a nice shower.  Now I will relax for the rest of the evening.  Tomorrow I return to work.  My most common shift seems to be 11-8, which makes it difficult to do anything substantial before or after work.  I can get up at about 7:30/8 to study or hit the gym before work, but after 8 o'clock I don't have much gas left in me to do much. 

I've had my next trip on my mind for the last few weeks.  I'm considering doing a bit of roaming after I graduate next May.  I'm thinking Mexico, and possibly farther into Central America if I choose to.  I've got a bit under a year to start saving and planning for that.  I've already got a great backpacking backpack that I would use.  The idea of venturing alone kind of frightens me, but I also know that I'm capable of it. 

I'll leave it at that.  Goodnight!

5/31/2018

What have I been listening to?: California - Charlotte Cardin

What have I been watching?:  Master of None

Every time I finally get around to writing a post, I realize how pathetically infrequent my posts are.  Last time I posted, I was still in school.  Fast forward to now: I've been done with my junior year of college for not quite a month, moved out of student housing and into the lower level of a house 15 minutes away from the University, am working full time, and recently returned from a trip to South Carolina.

I finished last semester strong and maintained my 4.0.  I was super pleased.  Next semester I'm enrolled in only 4 courses instead of my usual 5.  I'm in a good place credit-wise so perhaps I'll try to work a bit more next semester and get some money saved.  I've moved to a different location for the summer.  Instead of returning home and living with my parents, I decided I'd rather keep working in this area and find a place here.  I'm renting part of the lower level of a lovely home kind of out in the country.  It's a beautiful drive through farmland and nice country homes.  I've got a super spacious room, en suite bathroom, and walk in closet.  I'm definitely spoiled beyond repair if I ever have to return to student housing.  So far, living here pretty much by myself, I pretty much just occupy myself with working, occasional errands, cooking, and for fun I of course go and see movies.  I really don't mind working full time.  With few exceptions, I really like the people I work with, and that is key to staying positive at your job.  

Some weeks ago, my mom proposed that we take a somewhat spontaneous trip to a destination of our choosing.  I've had surf on the brain since Fiji, so I suggested the East Coast.  My mother, sister, and I ended up spending about a week at Folly Beach, South Carolina.  We drove (roughly 20 hours each way) there and stayed at the Tides Folly Beach.  It's the only hotel in Folly Beach that's right on the water.  The little city of Folly Beach was super cool.  A little downtown of about 4 square blocks consisted of lots of beach shops, cool restaurants, cafes, bars, frozen yogurt and coffee shops, surf shops, and rental places.  Live music was happening somewhere almost every night, and overall the area had a lively atmosphere.  I would definitely return.

Folly Beach and Fishing Pier

The forecast had predicted rain for every day of our trip, but we didn't end up getting rain at the beach at all.  My mom and sister spent a lot of time sunbathing and relaxing by the pool or on the beach.  My main motivation was to surf.  I rented a soft top (foam board) from one of the surf shops for three days.  It was definitely the most ratchet, worn board on the beach.  The first day there, I was really discouraged and frustrated in my attempt to surf.  The waves were biggest that day.  There were a lot of surfers out in that section to the right of the pier, doing fancy shit and killin' it.  I went farther down the beach because I wasn't about to try to be a part of that experienced cluster, I'd hurt someone or get hurt myself.  In my first attempts, I couldn't even paddle out over the waves to get out to a calmer point to chill.  I returned to the shore, quite defeated, because I'd been imagining surfing again for the last year and a half and now it seemed I couldn't do it.  I'd been able to surf in Fiji but I'd never had to paddle out through such strong waves.  I called it a day and decided I'd try again tomorrow.  That next morning, I believe, I made another attempt.  I eventually realized it was far more efficient to walk the board out as far as possible, jumping against the waves, than trying to paddle through them.  Then once I couldn't reach the bottom anymore, I'd hop on and paddle the rest of the way out.  This method proved effective and from that point on I was finally able to actually try to surf.  But just because I conquered that first challenge didn't mean it all went great after that.  I fell, a LOT.  Sometimes I wouldn't have enough speed by the time the wave was right behind me, or my board wasn't facing quite the right direction, or I wasn't positioned quite right on the board, and I'd get flipped before I even had a chance to pop up.  And half the time when I did attempt to stand, my arms were so tired from paddling like hell to catch the wave that I could barely get myself up.  My best surf day was the last day with the board.  I went out mid-morning and stayed out for around 3 hours maybe.  There were only a couple surfers out.  The morning was very sunny and by the afternoon, the sky in the distance was darkening and lightning flashed behind the hotel.  No rain made it to the beach, though.  On that day, I felt more fluid in my movements.  My paddling out was better and more effective, and I felt strong enough to paddle like hell to catch waves.  I had several great ups where I actually rode waves nearly to shore.  I was really happy with that day of surf.  Unfortunately, and I don't even know how it happened, on one of my last attempts, I somehow kind of hurt myself in my fall.  I think maybe I got twisted around at an odd position or something, because I don't recall my board hitting me or anything, but I thought I hurt a rib.  Now I think it's perhaps a strained abdominal muscle which has been giving me pain in my side/chest/armpit/back area for nearly a week.  I had to call it a day after that happened because I knew pretty much immediately that something was wrong.  So that was an unfortunate occurrence, and is still giving me trouble, but it happened at an ideal time (if it had to happen at all) because I had to return the board that day and we were leaving the following morning.  So at least I'd gotten my money's worth of surfing in.  

Surfing kicked my ass.  I was sore the entire trip from it.  My neck felt very strained from craning around looking at imminent swells, my back muscles were sore (but that felt like a good sore, like the equivalent of a super productive workout of lateral pull downs).  My scalp (at the part of my hair) burned, the tops of my thighs got a bit burned from sitting on the board waiting for waves.  I got a few small spots of board rash, but that gave me the excuse to buy a super pretty Rip Curl long sleeve rash guard.  I got pretty bruised and scraped up after the three days of surf, but I regret no part of it.  I feel like I progressed a bit within the few days that I was out there and I'm glad I had the chance to surf at all!  Also at one point there were several dolphins about 20 feet away from where I was surfing.  I saw dark gray fins and was like no fucking way, am I seeing a shark right now?  But upon further inspection, I was delighted to realize they were dolphins.  As far as I can recall, I'd never seen dolphins until that point.

Besides surfing, I also enjoyed eating at various local cafes and restaurants (I recommend the Black Magic Cafe), strolling through the downtown area, looking through shops (especially the surf shops), and I watched a lot of Survivor on my phone in the down time haha.  One night at dusk we walked up and down the fishing pier and I got some astonishingly good photos (usually my camera doesn't do great in low light).  The ocean looked most beautiful at this time.  We also visited a massive old oak tree which is called the Angel Oak.  On our last full day, we took a boat tour which lasted about two hours, during which we saw probably a dozen dolphins and various birds.  Our guide was great and explained the history of the area, facts about the different species, and other interesting stuff about Folly Beach and the ocean.

At the Angel Oak tree

 It was a good trip and a really cool spot.  I'd go there again if I had the chance!  I think if I were to do it again I'd opt to fly, though.  Even though airports and flying make me anxious and generally uncomfortable, the ~40 hours of driving got pretty frustrating.  We all got pretty pissy and mad about every little ridiculous thing, and people not knowing how highways work (slower vehicles on the right please!) made me reconsider our decision to drive. 

There's definitely more I could talk about from the last month of my life but I'm gonna eat some spaghetti now.  Btw, all these photos are my property :)
Ciao

4/16/2018

What have I been watching?: Brooklyn 99
What have I been listening to?:  Come Hang Out - AJR
Last movie I watched:  Shanghai Noon

I've just returned from a weekend in La Crosse for Arrowhead Model United Nations conference.  A few weeks (months?) ago, an email was sent to all Political Science and International Studies students at my school, informing us of the opportunity to participate in Model UN.  This has never been available for me to do before, not at my high school nor my previous Universities, and the only knowledge that I had of Model UN came from a few episodes of Parks and Recreation.  I was hesitant to commit to nearly 4 days of academic extracurricular activity, especially considering I had no idea what it involved or how to properly participate in it.  But I committed anyways, lured in by the offer of free hotel accommodations and meals.  I made it clear to the program advisor that I wanted to attend on an observational basis, watching in order to learn, since I didn't have much knowledge of international affairs, UN procedures, or really anything regarding Model UN.  My emphasizing this didn't end up making much of a difference.

Only 3 students ended up going that weekend.  Several more had initially committed but dropped out as the weekend approached.  I don't necessarily blame them--I too was beginning to rethink my decision.  I received very little information as to what was expected of me, what the conference would be like, etc.  All I knew was that I would be representing Germany, and it turned out that I was participating in the Economic and Finance Committee (yikes).  I was never informed of a dress code.  It turned out to be a rather formal affair, very business formal attire.  I had thrown a couple button up shirts in my bag just in case, which didn't really suffice (at all) but did keep me from looking like a homeless person had somehow made their way into the conference.  Everyone looked quite dapper, especially the men in their suits.  I came to the conclusion that I must invest in a nice blazer and some nice straight legged pants and perhaps heels, regardless of if I participate next year.  I was also not aware that the whole basis of the Model UN conference is that each delegate conducts research and creates a proposed resolution (on the topic of their choosing) having to do with their appointed country.  So I showed up entirely empty handed, not only without a resolution to propose, but also without having read the proposed resolutions of the other delegates in my committee (because I didn't know they existed).  There was also a whole array of formalities and procedural methods and rules that I was entirely unfamiliar with, but that part wasn't so bad and I became more accustomed to them by the second day.

I mostly just sat and listened, since I hadn't done any research and didn't have much knowledge of the topics in the proposed resolutions.  I did get a few disapproving looks and overheard a comment from the delegate of Syria chiding "countries like Germany who just sit there".  The worst part was during caucuses, which were essentially periods of free discussion for delegates to ask each other questions informally, clarify parts of the resolution, create amendments with other delegates, etc.  During those times I'm sure I appeared quite lazy and uninterested, but really I just wasn't able to contribute anything. 

On the second day, I did go on the speakers list several times, as I'd become a bit more familiar with the procedure and felt slightly more comfortable speaking.  After a delegate proposed their resolution, the chair (moderator) opened the speakers list for those that wished to make a comment or question on the resolution, show their support for it, show their disapproval for it, etc.  One of the most difficult parts of Model UN is that you are supposed to accurately represent the policy positions of the country you are representing.  Your own personal opinions should not define your participation.  Instead, you are supposed to vote the way a real UN delegate from your appointed country would.  This led to very comical discussions involving the delegates to Russia and North Korea (The Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea) who did a great job accurately portraying the policy positions of their countries.  It was quite difficult for me, however, because I had not made myself acquainted with German policy positions.  Because of this, I was often very uncertain how to vote, and ended up with a lot of disheartening abstentions. 

Overall, I was quite unprepared, but I still greatly enjoyed the conference and would like to participate in it again next year if possible.  I wish I had had a better understanding of what was expected of me so I could have been a better participant. Nonetheless, it was an awesome experience, and I definitely don't regret going. 

The plan was to return Sunday mid-afternoon, but massive snow storms derailed everyone's plans.  Some groups had driven 5+ hours to get to the conference, and had to either leave Saturday morning (missing a full day of sessions) or stay an extra night in La Crosse.  My group ended up returning Saturday night, somewhat abruptly.  The weather was getting quite bad by the second hour of our return, but we had no issues.  The snow coated every tree, bluff, fence post, and rock on the winding roads back from La Crosse and it was so beautiful.  I felt quite a bit of melancholy as we returned, with such a good experience coming to an abrupt end, but not so much so that I couldn't appreciate the lovely scenery.  Now the weekend is over and I'm back to my routine, but feeling honestly quite dazed and jumbled. 

Happy prolonged winter
-G

4/2/2018

What have I been listening to?: Switch Lanes - Tyga

What have I been watching?:  The Path

I took advantage of all my roommates being gone for Easter yesterday and shot a few clips around the apartment.  The school doesn't have many photos of this building up, and when I signed up for housing I didn't get to see the inside of my hall until orientation day.  Anyways, maybe some obsessively organized planners such as myself will benefit from getting a glimpse into the hall beforehand.  

It was super annoying to make because my camera is smarter than I am and I kept having focusing issues. 

Yesterday, as I said, all my roommates left and I immensely enjoyed having the place to myself.  I had a very productive day.  The athletic center for the University was closed for Easter so I went to the exercise room in my hall instead.  I made steel cut oats with honey and maple syrup, and a chocolate rice cake topped with peanut butter, chia seeds, and sliced almonds for my post-workout meal.  Then I did some cleaning around the apartment.  I actually enjoy cleaning when its because I feel like it and want to organize the place.  I vacuumed all the floors, cleaned the toilet, the mirror, the sink and bathroom counter, washed our dish drying rack, and organized my desk.  Did a bit of studying, and then in the evening my mom and uncle came into town to spend a few hours with me before they had to go to the airport.  We had dinner at Olive Garden, and I shot a few games of pool with my uncle at a bar while my mom spectated.  My uncle worked at a billiards store and competes in pool tournaments.  I held my own.  I even won a game.......on a technicality.

Cheers.
G

3/22/2018

What have I been watching?: Raising Hope
What have I been listening to?: Brazil - Declan McKenna
Last movie I watched: Love, Simon

Thoughts and Tidbits

• I've never been a morning person, but there's a good feeling associated with waking up early and being productive.  A few days ago I set my alarm for 6:30 to get up and train before class at 9.  When the alarm went off, I turned it off and laid back, not entirely certain that I was going to follow through with my gym plans.  I was on the fence, not totally dismissive of the idea of getting up but not totally motivated to actually do it.  And you know what made me get up?  It was a single thought that I had.  "Just fucking do it, you *****."  I'll leave that word out because its a word that I don't even like, a preference that some part of my brain hasn't caught onto yet apparently.  But that's the thought that pushed me up and out of bed.  Simple as that.  I went back to the gym in the evening to do a cardio session, determined to reach the goal I had set that day for myself.  45 minutes on the stairmaster (at level 6, if that means anything to you).  I never really push myself, because I figure, why?  I always justify it to myself like "oh, I've done a ton already so I'll just stop now."  But that's no way to get stronger.  Mind over matter.  If I convince myself that I can do it, then I can do it.  And I did do it, and it was great.
• A philosophical friend said to me a few hours ago "I want to be everything, and I want to be nothing."  I concur.
• I watched the movie Wild (with Reese Witherspoon) about a week ago and it has me quite inspired to backpack.  In the movie, Reese Witherspoon (who has no backpacking experience) decides to thru-hike the Pacific Crest Trail, which goes from the Mexico/US border to the US/Canada border.  In the movie, she's recently lost her mother, who died of cancer fairly quickly after being diagnosed, and so the journey is a cathartic experience for her.  I've been mildly interested in backpacking for a couple years now.  Unfortunately, my relationship with the outdoors is complex, in that I tend to like the idea of it more than the reality of it.  But I'm determined to give it a go, and I'd like to do it entirely on my own, to prove to myself that I'm capable of it.  That and I become more fond of solitude with every passing day.
• Speaking of solitude, I'm in the process of securing a one-bedroom apartment for this summer and next school year.  I don't necessarily dislike people, but I just much prefer living alone.  I like the independence, and I like not being disrupted by other people's routines and activities, not being woken up by their music or loud voices.  I will live on my own terms, according to my schedule, with my own comforts.  I will not have to deal with unwashed dishes, dirty mirrors, and others' personal belongings strewn about in common places.  I will not have to see my roommate's boyfriend every fucking day in my apartment.  I won't have to hear about my other roommate's sexual conquests.  I won't have to wait to get in the bathroom.  It will be exquisite.

I'm feeling pretty happy.  I've been doing well on my schoolwork, and I'm in the library almost everyday plugging away on papers and trying to get ahead so it doesn't all hit me in April.  It sometimes seems like I'm an efficient machine.  I feel good when I'm using my time productively and getting a lot out of my day.  I'm lifting 4 or 5 days of the week, and the weather's cleared up enough for me to start biking again for the first time since last year.  Lots to be happy about. 

And a new quote that has me feeling inspired:  Freedom lies in being bold.
-G

12/24/2017

What have I been watching?: 30 Rock

While I lived in Peru as a 16-year-old exchange student, I kept a fairly consistent blog.  I am so glad I did because I can go back and feel the things that I felt in those times and remember the places I described.  Without it, and all the photos I took, so much of what I experienced and felt is already lost, 4 years later.

I then studied for a semester at the University of the South Pacific in Suva, Fiji.  I had originally started a blog but then before I even left for Fiji I decided not to keep one.  I guess I thought it would be too difficult to keep up with or would be a distraction from my time there.  That was an incorrect assumption (I had a painful amount of free time and no money to do anything) and it would have been nice to have written about my time there.

It's been a bit over a year since I returned from Fiji and I'm going to try to write a bit about some things I remember.  I'll use my photos to jog my memory.  Far too many things occurred within those near 5 months for me to write about entirely, which is unfortunate.

I recall that upon arriving in Fiji we spent a bit of time in Nadi (where the airport is located) and where one of our program coordinators lived.  Nadi (Pronounced nan-di in Fijian) is on the other side of Viti Levu (Fiji's main island) from Suva.  Viti Levu means Big Fiji in Fijian.  Fiji's 2016 Olympic slogan was "Toso Viti Toso" which means "Go Fiji Go."


My first real meal in Fiji was fish and chips sold from a combination car wash/fish and chips stand.  As strange as that sounds, my understanding is this place has the best fish and chips in Nadi.  I'd never had fish and chips before, so me saying they were the best fish and chips I'd ever had doesn't mean much, but trust me when I say that they were incredible.  Hot, greasy, melt-in-your-mouth fish with a nice batter, and soft, salty fries.  This was the pre-vegetarian period in my life, of course.

We learned how strong the sun could be our first days there in Fiji.  In Nadi, we rode horses around the base of the Sleeping Giant Mountains.  I don't remember how long we initially stayed in Nadi.

In Suva, we got settled into our University accommodations.  We had to get used to quite a walk when going anywhere on or off campus.  It could be so exhausting, and I usually would arrive wet with sweat.  Each floor/level of each dorm building housed, I believe, 7 individuals.  Each had their own room (really decent actually--wardrobe, desk & shelves built into wall, mounted wall fan, good window).  A kitchen and bathroom with 3 toilet stalls and 3 showers was shared among the floor members.


Above are the dorms at dusk.  I took these photos.  You can see the inclined path up towards the dorms.  Below is the library of the University of the South Pacific.  Note the vivid color of the flora.



Looks like a green screen right? That was a real view that I stood in.  Can't recall the name of this particular part of Viti Levu.

Below is me at dusk while staying at Pacific Harbour for a weekend.  Got amazing photos during that evening.  Had to take a bus from Suva to get anywhere.  I met very few people that actually owned their own vehicles.  At the end of the semester I met a kid originally from South Africa who was studying at the International School Suva and he had his own car which was really unusual for Fiji (and especially for a young person, a student I mean).  I remember being shocked to realize that it was one of only two or three personally owned vehicles that I ever sat in during the entirety of my time in Fiji.  We even went through the McDonald's drive-thru, which felt surreal.


There are only 3 or 4 movie theaters in the entire country.  Of course, most of them are on Viti Levu.  I went to the movies often.  Below is one of the theaters with its own really unique aesthetic.


At University, I took 3 courses (this seems like few, but 4 is actually the maximum that students can take).  I chose them simply based on what I thought would be interesting, as at that time I was only attending a 2-year University in the United States and was only doing general coursework.  I picked Developmental Psychology, Tourism in the South Pacific, and Political Ideologies.  Tourism in the South Pacific ended up being my least favorite.  Political Ideologies was by far my favorite.  It was taught by a Swiss-born man who had lived in Fiji since childhood (Shout out to Professor Robert Nicole).  That class was far smaller than my others so there was actual discussion among students and I actually felt like I was a part of that class.  Professor Nicole also brought snacks each week for the class, what a guy!  It was very interesting being the only American in a politics class, what with the United States' somewhat domineering position in the world.  I learned that the United States conducted nuclear tests over the Marshall Islands and its surroundings waters, and that the nuclear fallout has had and continues to have devastating effects on Marshall Islanders.  Imagine my shame at being the only American and only non-Pacific Islander in the room when that was brought up.  And what was worse, was that I was the only one in the class who was unfamiliar with the topic (by unfamiliar, I mean that I had never even heard of this).

Read this article about it: http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2015/11/27/a-ground-zero-forgotten/?utm_term=.8f9dc61b8e64
Quote from the article: "From 1946 to 1958, the United States conducted 67 tests in the Marshall Islands. If their combined explosive power was parceled evenly over that 12-year period, it would equal 1.6 Hiroshima-size explosions per day."

So, I learned the most in Political Ideologies, by far.  It was a hugely influential course for me and contributed really significantly to my Political Science studies.  For this course, I was also able to visit parliament and sit in on a session.  That turned out to be pretty comical because the Parliament members were arguing somewhat passive aggressively and from all the way across the room I think I saw a woman actually roll her eyes.

One of my great accomplishments from Fiji was the huge effort I made in studying for my final exams (mere days before my departure) and receiving all A's for my courses.  Rather than re-write that experience, I will copy and paste my Facebook status from after my first final:

"Final exams in Fiji: you and 1000 other sweating students cram into an open-air sports arena, birds circling overhead (occasionally shitting on test-takers) encouraging you with their high-pitched shrieks, meanwhile it's a balmy 7,934°, you're painfully aware of the pools of sweat accumulating under your legs, and loss of consciousness seems entirely possible during your three hours of incessant writing."

Another major accomplishment was hiking the tallest mountain in Fiji.


Above is the sign at the summit of Mount Tomanivi (Formerly, Mount Victoria from the British days).  It's an extinct volcano that towers at over 4,300 feet.  Our journey of climbing this mountain began at a village near the base of the mountain.  The internet tells me the village's name is Navai, but for some reason that doesn't sound right to me.  We stayed the night at that village in a bure (traditional Fijian hut).  Inside the bure was quite warm, and we slept soundly.  Outside the bure we were surrounded by green hills, mountains, and an exquisite night sky.  An elderly man showed us a war hammer/axe thing that was used back in the days when cannibalism was still practiced.  He told us a story of a reverend (a missionary) named Thomas Baker who, in the 1800's, was staying at the village.  The story goes that, after having spent a fair amount of time staying at the village and learning Fijian customs, the Reverend made the fatal mistake of removing a comb from the Chief's hair.  The head is the most sacred part of the body in Fijian culture, and we were told before visiting villages that it is more respectful to refrain from touching your own head and hair, and even more so to refrain from touching anyone else's head.  The story, as I recall it, said that the Reverend Thomas Baker misunderstood and thought the Chief was offering the comb as a gift, and so he took it.  This was seen as disrespect and the Reverend was cannibalized.  Read about it here:  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/fiji/1446723/Fijians-killed-and-ate-a-missionary-in-1867.-Yesterday-their-descendants-apologised.html
If I'm not mistaken (and you'd really think I'd be more certain on this detail, but the man telling us this story was slightly difficult to understand), the war hammer we were shown was the very one used to kill Thomas Baker in 1867.

We were guided up the mountain by two men from Navai.  The journey began on flat ground as we made our way from the village to the base of Mount Tomanivi.  I knew that I was in trouble when I was already tired before we had even began to ascend.  While I struggled in my athletic wear and sneakers, the Fijian men ascended calmly with ease.  One of them wore broken flip flops, I shit you not.  As we ascended, it cooled and I could feel the moisture in the air.  Much of the hike was at quite the angle, and required a careful ascent by pulling oneself up by branches and tree roots.  It took us 3 hours to get up, and 3 hours to get down.  I sincerely thought I might have to call it quits an hour in.  But I forced myself to continue, truly had to force myself to get back up and move after a break, at the time hating every second of it as my body and lungs screamed at me.  I was the slowest.  One of the two guides had to stay behind with me at my slower pace while the other guide continued ahead with the rest.  I didn't experience much emotion upon reaching the summit.  I was so drained, exhausted and feeling antagonistic at having been roped into this (our program coordinator had chose this trip for us, a decision for which I am now extremely grateful for).  There was nothing to see besides the surrounding mist, and the old wooden sign and a few small flags.  The summit really didn't have a view at all.  We were entirely surrounded by clouds.  Had they not been there, I'm sure it would have looked incredible, but my understanding was that they are always there.  Besides, I did it to be able to say that I climbed the tallest mountain in Fiji, not for the view.

The descent was no easier.  It was even more slow-moving, if possible, and my legs trembled.  It was a kind of euphoria to reach the bottom and to make our way close enough to the village to see the bures.  Once it was over, I realized how incredible it had been.  I didn't appreciate the hike at the time, but seeing the mountain from a distance (I mean once we left the village and had driven a ways out) made me really realize what a truly remarkable thing I had just done.  After our day of climbing, I was seriously wet with sweat, as well as covered in dirt and grime.  The shirt I wore that day had to be thrown away--it's light blue fabric never recovered, after multiple washings.

I am so proud to be able to say I reached the summit of the tallest mountain in all of Fiji.  I genuinely didn't think I'd be able to make it.

That's one of many other amazing things I experience in Fiji.  Writing this all now, I really regret not having kept a blog.  Had I done so, I would have been able to write about these things with a fresher memory, more details, and more time to get it all down.

I also experienced hot springs and mud baths at dawn.  That was so, so beautiful but I was unable to capture it effectively without a tripod.  Not only was it breathtakingly beautiful, it was an overall really neat experience.  The hot springs was like a big warm bathtub that one could swim around in.  The air was cool and sharp in my lungs in the early morning.  We went in the hot springs, retreated into the crisp morning air and then covered ourselves in cool mud from the ground.  Then we went back in the hot springs and washed it all off.  And all while watching the colors rise over the mountains.  The colors began dark and inky with deep blues, then transitioned to lighter pastels with purples and oranges, then sharpened into bright, opaque colors of the day as the sun rose.



Above is from a quick stop at Maui Bay.  It's a beautifully picturesque location on Viti Levu.  A couple was having wedding photos taken at the very end of the pier.

I was also lucky enough to be living in Fiji at the time of the country's first Olympic medal win.  At the Rio Olympics, the Fijian Rugby 7's team took home the country's first ever Olympic medal.  Not only did they make the first Olympic win ever for Fiji, but they won gold.  Because of a case of head-up-the-ass, I actually didn't see the match.  I may have been one of the only people in all of Fiji to have not witnessed it, frankly.  I caught the tail end of it, alerted by the sudden tremor of celebration that shook the country.  School was canceled for the match.  Jobs were canceled for the match.  A national holiday was declared upon the Rugby 7's win.  The country very nearly changed it's flag as a result of the match.  A massive parade occurred to welcome the players back to Fiji.  It was monumental.  I can't convey how big of a deal this was to the country.  This country has only been independent since 1970.  In other words, this country has only existed on its own for 47 years.  Before that, it was controlled by the British.  So for such a young country to make its mark at the Rio Olympics and take home the highest honor for the sport of Rugby 7's is something unbelievable.  Part of these players training regimen included running up and down sand dunes at Sigatoka.  And I mean, look at these guys.  Look at their legs, for gods sake.


This team is the pride of all of Fiji.  They are literally considered heroes.

In Fiji, I also spent several days doing a stay at a village.  This was really interesting and also quite difficult.  I believe we spent three days and two nights there.  No electricity, no hot water.  We spent the day walking around and playing with the children in the village, mostly.  They held our hands and eagerly took us around the village.  I stayed with a family in a home made of concrete blocks.  In traditional Fijian culture (as is still present in villages), there are many customs that one must adhere to in order to be respectful.  Women are not to show much of their legs, so we wore sulus wrapped around our waists.  As I mentioned earlier, you should not touch your head or hair (especially in front of men), or touch anyone else's head.  Most people in the village wear only flip flops if any footwear at all, and these are left outside the door.  One must not step with shoes on the woven mat that is used for meals (the name of which is long gone from my brain).  At the village, I slept in a bed surrounded by a mosquito net, and each morning I would wake up with large beetles clinging to the outside of the net, which horrified me.  I struggled immensely with traditional Fijian cuisine and made a bit of a blunder when it came to consuming the dinner that was prepared for me.  I took very small portions (doing my best to eat everything and not be rude) but took quite a long time doing so.  It turned out that the entire family was waiting for me to finish, as this was customary.  But I had no idea that this was the case, and if memory serves, I took upwards of an hour to get through my dinner.  I felt horrible afterwards when I realized I had kept everyone waiting so long, but they expressed nothing negative towards me and showed only kindness for the entirety of my stay.  All meals are eaten on the woven mat on the ground.  These large mats are present in every single village bure.  They are not just for meals, but for all times of gathering.

We participated in kava ceremonies, at this village and on other occasions during our time in Fiji.  Kava is a traditional drink made from the powdered root of a pepper plant, and the internet describes it as "mildly narcotic".  The powder is wrapped in fabric and then the whole bunch of fabric is soaked in a big bowl of water to make the kava.  I hope it is not offensive of me to say it is basically mouth-numbing dirt water.  In the traditional ceremony, one person makes the kava and those participating in the ceremony sit in a semi-circle or something similar, and each person takes their turn drinking a portion of kava.  I did not take the photo below (photo credit to the Traveling Dutchman) but I really felt my description needed a photo to better illustrate it.


One claps before receiving the cup (usually a half-coconut used as a cup), downs it all in one go (or in my case, does their best to do so and not throw up and offend everyone present), then hands the cup back and claps again.  Then it is the next person's turn.  And that's how it goes.  It just continues on like that, each person taking their turn.  After a couple cups, one will notice a somewhat strange sensation in their mouth.  It's kind of a tingling numbness that will spread a bit to your face and put you in a mellow, relaxed state.  Kava is by no means a pleasant drink, but the kava ceremony is a really unique experience.  It seems to be mostly the village men that participate in it.  It's customary to bring the kava plant to the village as a gift.

In Fiji I also surfed for the first time.  My first experience surfing was at Natadola Beach.  I did not take the photo below, but this is where I experienced my first surf!  It looked just like this too, the photo is not misleading.


Of course the waves were tiny, just big enough to propel the board forward.  My program coordinator brought boards for us to use.  We used soft top boards (foam boards).  I went down most of the time, and definitely flashed people at least once (I was not wearing appropriate surf swimwear) but I was so exhilarated by it and was so determined to stay out there and keep trying.  I got up and rode maybe once or twice but eventually the waves died out entirely.  My fellow study abroad-ers had given up long ago, retreating back to the sand.  I don't think it was due to inability to get up, but more so that it just didn't interest them enough to stay out any longer.  But I stayed out after everyone went back to the beach, and eventually I just stayed out not looking for waves anymore, because they had gone, but instead just existing on the ocean on a surfboard in the sunset.  My friend Paige took this photo and I didn't even know she had taken it.  I don't think she even quite realized that I was in it when she took it--I think her intention had been to capture the sunset and I happened to be there.  But I sometimes can't believe that's me in that photo.  I am just somebody from Wisconsin, and there I found myself, drenched in warm light from the sunset, wet but entirely comfortable and totally at ease.  It was a feeling I have never before experienced, and not since experienced.  The warmth of it all--the colors, the water, and light--it was all synchronized and resulted in this incredible sense of calm.  I could have stayed there for hours.  But it was approaching evening and I was waved in from the shore.


I surfed once more in Fiji, but it was a different experience from my surf at Natadola.  The second time around, I was brought out to a surf spot called The Lighthouse (although there was no lighthouse as far as I could see).  It was a surf spot out on the reef a ways off shore, which we accessed by a little motored boat that was then anchored in place.  This was very clearly a higher level of surfing.  Many surfers were already there when we arrived in the morning.  The waves were daunting.  They were monsters on steroids compared to the little 1 foot ripples I'd experienced at Natadola.  These waves were well, well overhead.  I was so eager to surf again that it did not occur to me whether or not I should surf here.  Realistically, I shouldn't have.  But like I said, I was so desperate to get another chance to surf, and I was with two experienced surfers who were helping us.  My redeeming moment from this surf was riding a wave for maybe 6 seconds (it's really hard to gauge, it wasn't a clean ride and I was getting waterboarded through most of it).  The surfer I was with commended me.  This surf experience was exhilarating but mostly nerve-wracking.  My heart rate must have been in a danger zone for most of this surf.  The hardest part wasn't standing up.  The hardest part was the recovery after inevitably going down.  The waves were so powerful and came in such quick succession that by the time I forced my way back to the surface, the next wave was about to pummel me before I could paddle out of the way.  And because the waves were so big, even if I made it on my board in time, I couldn't paddle away quick enough.  So I just had to keep bailing and trying to go under so I wouldn't be hit with the brunt of the wave's power.  If memory serves, I was out there for upwards of an hour and only had maybe 3 attempts at catching a wave (attempts, mind you).  In other words, it took me over 20 minutes each time to get back on my board, out of the way so as not to be flipped and crushed by the wave, and back in position.  It was so, so difficult.  My arms tired out so quickly.  Surfing is tough work.  But I was so thrilled by it and am really eager to have another opportunity to surf.

So those were some of the bigger adventures.  And there are more, but I've now been writing for hours and it's getting late.  And the vast majority of my time in Fiji was not spent doing incredible things like climbing mountains and surfing coral reefs.  Most of my time was spent on campus, in the immediate area around campus, and I spent an obscene amount of time on Netflix, I will admit.  It was really difficult being a student of very limited means (that's sophisticated speak for 'poor') in a tropical destination because most of the activities that are associated with this location are ones that require significant financial backing.  I couldn't exactly go island hopping with $100.  So I found myself with a lot of free time and not much to do about it.  And at the time I remember being so resentful of that, and being bored.  I wish I could have just been better able to appreciate the time I had and done the best I could with it.


A lot of my time was spent at bars and clubs around Suva.  Besides going to the movie theater and going out to eat, this is about the last option for entertaining oneself.  I was 19 at the time, and due to not being of legal age in the United States, had never before experienced the bar/club scene.  I really enjoyed playing pool at Traps.  Traps was the downtown bar that we most often frequented.  The above photo is me on Halloween (I was not in costume) at Traps.  It was also at Traps that my group recognized Shay Mitchell, a famous actress from the TV show Pretty Little Liars.  It turned out that she was vacationing in Fiji and she was at the bar that night with several men.  My friend Paige got a photo with her, but I would have felt weird and annoying to bother her so I just looked on.  Pretty crazy coincidence to run into someone so famous at such a small bar in little Suva.

Although playing pool was my favorite, we also spent a lot of time drinking and dancing at a few clubs in Suva.  There is this drink that was common there called Tribe.  It's a sickly sweet, brightly colored alcoholic beverage one could perhaps compare to a Mike's hard lemonade, but somehow even sweeter.  There are specific songs that I will sometimes still hear that take me straight back to those times in those clubs.  Cheap Thrills by Sia is one of them.  Don't You Need Somebody with Enrique Iglesias is another.  After dancing, we would often end up at the McDonald's downtown, intoxicated and blissfully enjoying our nuggets and burgers.  I ate way more McDonald's in Fiji than I ever did in the United States, and that shit sticks around the middle more persistently than normal food.  When not dancing or playing pool, time was spent in the booths of Traps playing drinking games.

While I don't think I would ever choose to live in Fiji again for a long period like I did, and probably wouldn't make an effort to return any time soon just because it's so damn far and so expensive to get there, there are some things about Fijian living and my time abroad that I miss being home in my small town in Wisconsin.

• Going barefoot.  It is so common in Fiji to spend most of the day barefoot, especially in the villages but also in cities.  I've seen people barefoot at the grocery store, at university, and I loved how common it is to be barefoot because it's a really liberating feeling and you feel more connected to the Earth and to nature, as granola as that sounds. 
• Wearing a sulu.  It was often so hot in Fiji that I would just walk around our dorm in my underwear with a sulu wrapped around me.  Sulus are traditional in Fijian culture and my sulu (now quite tattered, but very soft from wear) has served me well.  They can function as clothing, a blanket, a towel, a pillow, a sack with which to carry one's belongings, etc.  
• Beaches and surf.  This is something that just isn't available to me where I live.  One can surf on the Great Lakes but only seasonally and it requires extensive wetsuit gear that really only a dedicated surfer can justify buying.  So I miss being able to go to pristine, world-renowned beaches with suitable surf.
• Drinking age of 18.  I'm not a big drinker by any means, but I enjoyed the nightlife and the ability to just go to a bar and casually hang out.  It bothers me that I can't go out and play pool at the bar in the evenings here or casually drink and play games with friends in a booth.

There's so much more to my time in Fiji but I've got to wrap it up.  Every experience I've had has shaped me.  I spent too much time in Fiji not appreciating what was all around me and focusing on what the country lacked and the limitations I had.  I still struggle with that where I am now and I think I always will.  Writing it all down helps because it forces me to realize how lucky I am to have experienced what I have.

Vinaka for the good times, Fiji.
-G

 P.S. Fun fact:  Bathroom in Fijian literally translates to "little house"

12/16/2017

What have I been listening to?: Trampoline - Kalin and Myles
What have I been watching?:  Jersey Shore
Last meal I ate: Vegetarian corn dog, Colby jack cheese stick, grapes, almonds

The fall semester has come to an end.  I had my last day of classes on Friday and have been diligently preparing for my finals.  I sometimes feel that I take my education more seriously than a lot of the people here.  People that have likely never set foot in the library are now crowding all the tables I usually occupy (I assume they are attempting to learn for the first time their course material).  Because I primarily study political science, my final exam prep basically consists of going through readings (that I have already read in entirety, highlighted, and made notes in the margins) and writing down the most pertinent, concise information for possible essay question topics.  I basically write out all the information I have on the subject and then go back through it and highlight the key words.  I write everything down by hand, as opposed to typing it out, because I remember it better that way.  I actually have to think about the words as I am writing them, and the words stick in my mind longer while writing a sentence out by hand than by typing.  Anyways, it's a long, thorough process but so far it has served me well.  I study a lot and I'm trying to put in as much work as I can so that I can walk away from my finals knowing I made the best effort I could.  I have really adopted a saying that my mom taught me: "Do your best and forget the rest."  I used to always be so anxious over my school work and grades.  I would get so worked up over everything.  But I've been a lot better about just putting in my best effort and moving on.  And I don't procrastinate because I know that I will be more at ease by being organized and getting things done ahead of time.  I really like my personality in that way.  I am really efficient and driven.  It's something I hold a lot of pride in.

I never talked about my wisdom teeth surgery, and that was several weeks ago.  I was really nervous going into it.  Like sweating, feeling panic and dread.  I mean, I was going under anesthesia so I knew there was a slight possibility that I could just go under and never wake up.  That's what was really getting to me.  When they called my name to go in for the surgery, I looked over at my brother and thought about the possibility of never seeing him again.  I couldn't say anything because I was choking up so I just got up and went in there.  I sat in the chair and they hooked me up to monitors.  Gas mask went on and as it started to work on me, I got really panicky.  I could feel my body going numb and I was really scared honestly, because my body wasn't responding right to my brain and I was also really hurting inside because I was thinking about all the people I love.  I thought about someone that I loved but never told, someone who is no longer in my life.  I didn't want to die.  I know this probably sounds dramatic since it was only a wisdom teeth surgery but this was all totally real to me.  I started crying and things were getting hazy but I remember the assistant wiping tears away from the corners of my eyes.  IV went in and that didn't hurt so bad, I mostly just hurt inside.  The next thing I remember was being lead to my car through the parking lot by my brother, and him opening the car door for me and getting inside.  Apparently the surgery went quickly, only taking something like 35 minutes.  I was in the chair in the room for near an hour afterwards because I was still so out of it.  My brother and I had planned ahead of time for him to sneakily take videos of me while the assistant wasn't in the room (sometimes they don't let you do it?) and my brother thought he was going to get caught because I kept saying "I consent to this, I consent to being videotaped" while the assistant was in the room, which would have been funny if I hadn't been nearly sobbing through it.  My brother said me coming off the anesthesia was a combination of funny and sad.  In the videos he took, I could see I was crying a bit and asked about five times some variation of the question "It's over? They did the surgery already? Everything came out already?".  At one point I was crying and looked at him and pointed at him and said "I'm not crying cause of sadness, I'm not crying cause of pain, okay? I just have a lot of emotions in me."  One of the sadder parts was when I said something like "I'm glad I didn't die because I should have told some people some things...but I'm probably still not going to tell them."  But then some of the funnier parts were: "Are you getting good video? For scientific study...for comedic study..."

When making my appointment for the surgery, the oral surgeon had told me that it would be fine to get it done on Friday and return to university Sunday to resume school on Monday, that this would be a sufficient recovery time.  That was a lie.  I felt like death.  I was high on Vicodin and was dead.  I went to my first class on Monday feeling alright but after I took the flight of stairs up to the second floor, I took an immediate turn for the worse.  I was on the verge of passing out the whole class period.  I sat there in a comatose state, and weirded out my desk mate, who I turned to and stared at, puzzled, and told "You look different.  Why do you look different."  Very rarely do I miss class, only if I am very ill do I not go to class.  This is because I take very diligent notes and when I miss class, I have to get sub-par notes from someone.  But that day after that first class, I went back to the dorm, sent a courtesy email to my professor, and slept.

I was also a bit paranoid about taking my prescribed painkillers because I had recently learned in a criminology course that Vicodin is an extremely addictive drug and that many people just taking it as prescribed for an injury become addicted to it.  So I probably didn't take it as much as my pain warranted.  Also for about a week or two afterwards, I was having weird twinges and feelings in my cheek on my jaw, near my ear, and I was very concerned that I had permanent nerve damage as a result of the surgery.  Thankfully, I am no longer experiencing those feelings.  Overall, my wisdom teeth surgery was not a pleasant experience.  Returning to school two days after this surgery was not ideal.  I would not recommend it.

Yesterday my ultimate Frisbee team had a Christmas party gift exchange.  I was gifted a jug of apple cider and a box of assorted teas.  I was pleased.  After our gift exchange, we cleared the living room and had a dance party.  We like to dance even though we're not very good.  It was a bittersweet occasion because several of the team members are leaving for a semester abroad.  One team member is graduating and one is transferring to another school.  The two that will be leaving permanently were gifted with framed photos of the team so they "will always remember they have a family and a home here."  I teared up.  The two leaving permanently are some of the kindest, most fun and genuine people I have met here at school.  I hope they come back to spend time with us when they can.

So as this semester comes to a close, I have so many mixed feelings.  I am so proud of the hard work that I have put in and the determination and drive that I have kept constant this semester.   I am proud of myself for being productive and reaching a high level of achievement, but I'm more proud of being true to myself--going makeup-free sometimes, not conforming to the values that other people hold, and being  happy just being by myself.  I am so happy because I have met more friends and great people than I ever could have imagined, truly.  When I was awaiting my transfer to this school, I just hoped that I could meet a couple people to hang out with.  I never expected to join a team and become a part of a family.  I didn't expect to make friends that would dance with me in the middle of campus, or use their guest pass meals on me so we could all have a team dinner at the dining hall, or join me in driving around for hours listening to music and going nowhere in particular.  And so this also feels bittersweet.  Many of the people that I have become close to are moving on and moving away.  I know it is harder for them than it is for me, because I have been in their position.  I will always remember them fondly and will look forward to seeing them again in the future.

I've made my heart heavy.
-G

11/18/2017

What have I been listening to?:   Friend of Mine - Avicci
Last meal consisted of:   Two buttered grands biscuits, green beans, almonds, unsweetened apple sauce

Totally forgot about this whole writing thing for a while there.  I'm not in the greatest writing environment at the moment (in my flat, sitting next to a beer pong table, loud music to my left, boisterous people all around).  I've been really busy the last week.  I've been spending about 4 hours a day at the library outside of class working on papers.  I'm currently trying to finish up a paper for my International Relations course.  It's about Somali piracy.  I am determined to finish it within the next three days.  It's taking me forever, I'm so picky about how I word things, the vocabulary I use, the sentence structure, everything.  I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say I produce a sentence about every 6 minutes.  It is agonizing. 

Following our last tournament, we've had ultimate frisbee practice indoors.  We have it two times a week now instead of three.  I really hate it though because practice space and time is so scarce that we have been slotted for 8-10 PM and 9-11 PM.  Believe it or not, 9-11 isn't even the lastest slot.  As someone who is usually in bed by 10, these times really bother me.  I've missed a lot of practices because I've been busy at the library late and am just too tired to go to practice.  I usually watch an hour or so of tv before I actually go to sleep and I don't like missing that lol.

I ordered my brother's Christmas presents today.  He is an angel who deserves everything in the world.  I am really excited about what I got him.  We used to play video games a lot together, and our favorite was Chrono Trigger.  It's an old game that no one ever seems to have heard of.  I got him a t-shirt with the Chrono Trigger characters lined up on the front, I'm pretty sure he's going to freak out because it's not a well known game so you wouldn't expect there to be t-shirts or anything for it.  Thank you Redbubble for having obscure shit! I also got him a Zelda poster. 
I got my sister a long sleeve shirt from my school store, and I'm also going to get her a little potted succulent because she was saying she wanted one.  My mom said not to spend money on her and my dad but I still will.

I've enrolled for next semester.  I'm still planning on majoring in Political Science.  It worked out really well for me because I took most of the polisci classes that were offered at UW-Barron County, my two year.  So when I transferred here I was pretty ahead in terms of getting my major requirements.  I was previously planning on minoring in Criminology but I'm now going to be doing an International Studies minor.  This minor allows me to take classes from a more diverse range of subjects.  I look forward to taking some history courses for it (I feel that my knowledge of history is very lacking and its an important subject). 

I'm getting a little pissy with the amount of noise and activity in my dorm right now.  Despite agreeing to the gathering and even looking forward to it, now that I'm actually in the middle of it, I'm feeling rather antagonistic. 

I'll sign off until next time
-G